Tuesday, October 28, 2008

{No More Drama} Time For Change

Well I decided to make a big change in my life! So far so good. I let go my myspace page and I'm not looking back! Im trying to live everyday as if it's my last because when you think about it you truly never know when your time is up! I decided its time for me to look towards my future and all the positive things in my life. I have been blessed with so much yet at times I took those things for granted. But now that I'm about to be 21 I can finally see clearly that I'm not getting any younger and it's time for my to start taking responsiblity for my actions and LIFE It's only been a few days since I decided to become a better person but I find myself so much happier already! Now that I look back at the person I was becoming it's quite depressing! I let the drama of myspace and other people lives affect me drasticaly! And for what? Nothing!! The time I was spending behind the computer screen fussing over nothing was becoming my downfall. Everyday I found myself checking my messages whether it was on my computer my bestfriends laptop even my phone! How pathetic is that! But honestly at the time I could not see the hole I was digging myself into! I only saw it as a place to let my anger out on the people I hated most! The sad part is I was starting to become a evil person! Wishing nothing but bad thoughts on others! Growing up I was this very loving bubbly person that enjoyed making people laugh! I had become confident as I got older and was trying to make the best of my life! But once I saw the drama myspace brought Im not going to lie I started to like it! Why? I really have no clue maybe it was a way to escape reality at times! I never really saw all the people around me I was hurting especially my fiance and bestfriend! After so many tears had been shed I knew I could not be this person I was letting myself become! I could not count the times at night when I would stare at the ceiling and ask myself what happened to the beautiful person you use to be? Yet when the next day would arrive I never made any effort to makea change! Myspace Drama & Hatred was becoming my life! Finally after a long talk with the people I was hurting the most I saw that it was time to be the person I use to be. {Kristen} My myspace is no longer up and I spend more time with my fiance and family! I now see that there are so many other ways I can deal with my anger. Like writing! It gives me a sense of relief and it just feels so good to write my thoughts down instead of acting them out! I know I made a change for the better and I can't help but smile when I think about it! Im taking my life and others into consideration! I want the best for myself and everyone that has entered my life. I just can't explain how much better things have been going. Especially my relationship with my finace. He feels so much better to know that I'm feeling more complete. He doesn't have to see the mean part of me but a more calm silly person! He doesn't have to deal with me complaining about who I hate or who I want to fight and mostly he gets to spend more time with me! And not to mention me and my bestfriend both are trying to make this change together actually let me repharse that were going to make this change together which is even better! I hope that I can inspire anyone that has fallen into the spiral of drama! Nothing is worth spending hours of your time on just to have nothing to show for. Life is way to short so why spend it being fed up or anger when you can just be happy and grateful instead. Im thanking God everyday for blessing me to see as many years as I have and bringing such wonderful people in my life! Instead of having drama I've made a commitment to have nothing but HAPPIENESS! Yay